Somewhere a Little Near Afar

Oh my Lord,

What have I done to deserve 
this such a punishment?

To be so far away from you,

Reject you and your love,

Be in a strange miserable world,

forever blindly chasing a mirage.

I am not just unfortunate,

And I can’t find the appropriate words

To describe how cursed and condemned I am.

Because of your mercy,

You call me unfortunate; when actually,

The reason why I am here is my envious nature.

And my misery was not caused by a misfortune

But by my own stupid choice.

For how long shall I reject you?

For how long shall I go astray?

For how long shall I pretend?

For how long shall I deny?

That you are My Lord?

Oh Infallible One,

Why is it that to be away from you seem so easy?

While the road that leads to you is narrow and thorny?

There is no way that with my strength alone

I can cross this material mystic ocean.

As a criminal serving his sentence,

I am seeing the graveness and nature of my sin;

By the ongoing punishment I am experiencing,

By the cold steel bars of my cell,

By the cruelty of my iron chain.

Indeed no one can truly know you

For in all attributes, you have no limit.

Only a fool would speculate and contain you

Within the limit of his tiny limited mind.

Oh Most Merciful One,

I'm not unfortunate after all,

And I am grateful, because

 despite my imperfections,
I was allowed

to stay in a place,

in a distance,

somewhere

a little near afar

by Your side.