“No one can
actually know The Guru.”
A preacher
said during his lecture.
In the
community of devotees, there is already an undying issue about who is a disciple
and who is not; for many devotees, a not initiated student is not a disciple,
one who actually knows practically nothing. In my case, I have not undergone
initiation, and I followed no one whom I do not know. Arrogance or not, I believe
and I claim that I know my Guru. I follow his teaching; I did some few sacrifices
for him, part-times of my life were offered to him, I know that I know him. My
guru taught me not to simply blindly follow his teaching. He told me to
question whether what he is preaching is indeed true. That I did; and by doing
so, I came to understand him, believed him, and know him.
The
lecturer is an old friend of mine. One of the few whom I know will not speak of
anything which he doesn’t believe. He is a sincere devotee, I know him to be
truthful, and he can be anything but a liar. During his lecture, he mentioned
that there are preachers who use knowledge simply to put the listener in
control. For long I noticed that many so-called advance devotees use this
cunning technique in preaching. This kind of subtle binding controlling method
in preaching ever since irritates me; for somehow ever since I believe that, as
love is freedom, the ultimate purpose of truth is freedom. Nevertheless, I want
to believe that I am a devotee, and I am a sincere quester of truth. And what
at stake in this issue of knowing the Guru are my life, my faith, and the
wisdom that molded me in my journey. The phrase also challenged the base of my
inherent nature and the wisdom that gave me joy and strength.
I seldom
ask question during lectures. I am too shy and too arrogant for that matter. Too
puffed-up not to believe that he knew everything anyone is capable of knowing. Nonetheless,
at that time I asked question, for my life is at stake. If anyone would in any
way kill me, that someone must at least justify to me his reason; for I am not
going to simply give it away without a fight. So I raised the question, “would
anyone follow anyone whom he doesn’t know?” making it clear that I won’t, will
never, and I did not surrender my life and soul to just anyone.
One of the reasons why
I seldom ask question
is because, most of the time,
my questions are questions
that no mortal man can answer;
Humility is the mother of all virtue;
And the practice of humility is a must;
But humility can be foolish if it is false;
And to be arrogant and a fool at the
same time, for me, is absolutely foolish;
Silence that mutes the truth is a noise;
And I can be anything, but never
a best friend of any stranger.
For days,
weeks, and months, my question haunted me; But the pain is tolerable, and it
was not the kind that my conscience whispers that I was so wrong. If it was
sinful, it was not the kind that needs urgent rectifying. In addition, it was
not clearly answered; therefore, it must be somehow true. But one day, I came
to realized that although it is correct, it is not absolutely right. For the
Guru and The Supreme Person qualitatively are one and the same. The Absolute
Truth is inconceivable. No one knows him in truth for He is without limit; His
knowledge is unlimited. Therefore, as The All-Knowing no one truly knows, no
one can also actually know the real status of the Guru’s knowledge. No one can truly
determine how far he had gone in his quest for wisdom; as he only speaks to us of
the truth based on the capability of our faith to perceive.
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